What makes a Mother so disliked by her daughter?

It seems that we can find no middle ground.I tell her be home by 11 and she will not come home until midnight .I will ask her please pick up after yourself and the stuff stays there until dooms day! I say Dana will you please not be late and then she shows up three hours late and with some guy tagging alone .She has a 6 month old and she leaves the dirty bottles all over the house if I ask her to pick them up she starts yelling and having a hissy!Will there ever come a day when we will be able to have a conversation where she isn't yelling and I'm not getting upset .