IF gays are attracted to people of the same ?

why do they seem to aspire to appear or behave in manners resembling the opposite ? Some s HATE guys, but most of the butch ones are clearly trying to BE like guys (and they seem to hate guys the most!). The same thing with gay guys. A lot of them take on traits like, being catty, pernicious, gossips and nelly in general. Whats the attraction if those people are attracted to the SAME ? I mean if I was a woman who liked women woulndn't it be the FEMININITY of a woman that was the majority of the attraction?